Spice Girls Bitch Slapped by Riot Grrrl Crazy Tracy
Last night The Spice Girls were severely bitch slapped by former Riot Grrrl ‘Crazy Tracy’ for their announced reunion and messages of support for Theresa May.
The attack took place in front of Big Ben as the Spice Girls stepped off their double decker bus.
Ginger, Baby, Sporty and Scary (Posh is proper posh now and doesn’t need the cash) were out promoting their new tour, which has surprisingly sold a ridiculous amount of tickets to thirty something women, desperate to recapture their ladette past and men of the same age who wore out their VHS recording of the Brits the year that Ginger’s tits accidentally fell out of her union jack dress.
Crazy Tracy, who thought she’d had enough of them in the late 90’s decided they needed a massive bitch slap right in their faces.
“I put up with that shit excuse for music in the late 90’s and there is no way I’m going to tolerate that manufactured drivel anymore.” Crazy Tracy told us.
“We spent the best part of the early nineties fighting for female equality in the music industry and to be taken seriously both as musicians and as politically outspoken women, then they came along with their platform heals, manufactured music and their misguided girl power messages and undid everything we’d worked so hard to achieve”
“What more, they have now decided that girl power isn’t good enough, but that we should have people power and rally around a leader because she’s a woman, even though she’s really shit at her job!”
“I reached the end of my tether and decided to give them a good old bitch slap. I know violence doesn’t solve anything, but god, it felt good.” Crazy Tracy told us. “I bet there’s loads of others out there who wish they had ovaries as big as mine so they could get the guts to give them a good old bitch slap too”
Crazy Tracy has been sentenced to sit in a room for 20 hours straight and listen to a succession of manufactured 1990’s boy and girl bands. Riot Grrrls around the world are praying to their female deities to send her strength at this horrendous sentencing.
(PS. No Spice Girls were harmed in the writing of this article. It’s just a fucking joke)